Today is April 2. That means May is less than a month away. Our departure date to move across the country is supposed to be sometime in May. And we still don’t have a job, or a place to live, or even a destination.
Talk about scary.
Let’s go back to the beginning… Five years ago, my husband and I began to feel an urging to downsize, an idea that was planted in our minds that we were meant to move somewhere, but with a lot less stuff. So we started the arduous task of sifting through all the junk in our garage. A year later, we felt like the Lord opened the door for us to sell our house and we eventually moved into a rental. Again, there was some serious downsizing, as our family of five moved to 1000 sq. ft. of space. Fast forward to February 2015 and we finally got a clear call to where we were to move our family: Hawaii.
You may have seen other posts on this topic, and to answer your question, no, we’ve never visited there and have no family in that area of the world. So, when I say this is a leap of faith, it’s some serious stuff. After talking about it for a few months, we truly felt that God told us to quit a perfectly good job and leave the only place we’ve ever lived. (Well, in our 16 years of marriage, anyway!) To do this would require that we sell almost all of the rest of what we own, and move to a brand new place empty handed. But we were definitely on board. This was a big fat adventure led by God, right?
But now we’re nearing the date we felt the Lord gave to us, back in the fall. My husband has been applying and interviewing for jobs every single day, often for hours at a time. We’ve researched places to live, have made a down payment to a shipping company for the few boxes we have that won’t fit in our car. And we’re just about to alert our landlord to the fact that May will be our last month here. We’re all set.
Except for that destination.
I’m not gonna lie – I’m terrified. When people ask me how we’re going to get there, I’ve always been quick to smile and say ‘I don’t know, but God does.’ And this is absolutely true. God does know, and there is zero reason to fear, when we can rest in the knowledge that He’s in control. But we’re human, and fear is something that humans do best, so… yeah. I will admit all five of us are doing our best to say a prayer every time an uneasy feeling hits us. (As you can guess, we’ve all been praying quite a lot, lately.)
The other day I was in conversation with a friend about our departure and a statement of truth fell out of my mouth, just like Chicken Little’s sky. It was surreal how, even as the very words left me, my mind fought to wrap itself around the fact that it was true, and real, and pretty much covered every square inch of that fear that’s been gnawing at me for weeks. (Months, really.)
To tell you what it was, I need to back track and give you a little history on how my husband and I met. I was one year out of college, I’d moved a few states away with a good friend of mine where we’d gotten an apartment and day jobs that covered the rent and not much more. I had a degree and was working and was on my way to moving up in the American Dream, to grabbing on to that ideal that every young person longs to own. Until the day I felt like God told me to go into missions. Or months, since it actually took that long before I listened to Him. But I finally did. I quit my job and moved my stuff back to my parents house and went into YWAM (Youth With a Mission) in Nashville, TN for 2 1/2 years. This is where my husband and I met, and eventually we went on to get married.
Which brings me back to that conversation I had with that friend earlier this week, the one where I was amazed at the very words that came out of my mouth? As I stood there and explained to her that we didn’t know where we were going, or what we would do for money, or how any of this craziness was going to work out, I heard myself say this:
It’s ok. It’s all going to work out. Because the same faith that led me into missions when I was young and single is the same faith that leads my family of five where God directs now. It doesn’t take more faith to do it… it just looks different.
Wow. A fundamental truth spoken through a naive, unsuspecting woman who desires nothing more than to follow where God would have me go. It’s this kind of crazy truth that vanquishes fear, and makes it possible for a family of five with the crazy idea of moving across the country, to pick up do it.
Thank God for crazy truth.
Thank God that the same faith that led me into YWAM is the same faith that leads my family now.